Race Report – Wessex CycloCross League – Round 8

Name:	Wessex Cyclo-Cross League, Oxonian CC, Round 8
Time:	Men 1 hour, Women 40 mins
Location:	Harcourt Hill Campus, Oxford
Date:	8 November 2015
Results:	Senior & Under 23 Men: Andy Haines 19th, Pete Forsyth 26th, Brett Kamino 28th, Arran Curran 29th, Dave Dyer 45th, Ollie Jaques 46th V40-49 Men & Junior Men: Tom Woodforde 65th V50+ Men and Women: Becci Curtis 69th, Cheryl Reid 71st

Race Report by Becci Curtis

Disregarding one big mistake of a mountain bike race in France last year, my first time racing cyclo-cross was also my first race event on a bike, and my first ever race as a member of the Condors since joining the club in July.

Start-line to finish-line, I don’t really know how I got to be there. It was a series of unfortunate events that led to the number being pinned on my jersey, and I’m fairly certain that I entered the race ‘by accident’. I blame my fellow Condors – they made me do it – and here’s how:

What started off with an innocent, non-committal remark that I ‘might quite like to try cx one day’ was twisted into ‘Becci definitely wants to be in the cx race this Sunday’.

1st Rule: You do not talk about racing

‘But I don’t have the right kind of bike for the race!’, I said. ‘Does anyone have a bike that Becci could borrow for the race?’, they said.

2nd Rule: You do not talk about racing

‘Yeah sure, Becci can borrow my super amazing mountain bike and I will even drop it around to her flat so that she can’t wiggle her way out of it’, Wiley Wicks said.

3rd Rule: If someone says “you can borrow my bike” the fight is over

‘I’m so glad you’re racing Becci, otherwise I would be racing on my own’, Prezza Chezza said.

4th Rule: The President never races alone

‘Oh wow, loads of Condors are racing on Sunday, let’s all go and support’, they said.

5th Rule: The Condors are watching you

If I was a serious contender, the size of my tyres would have certainly disqualified me from the race. Fortunately, my broken hi-vis commuter helmet, flat pedals, running shoes and mistakenly ordered, child’s size crop-top jersey, saved me from any embarrassment.

6th Rule: Any tyres, any jersey, any shoes will do

Having been warned by the muscle at Beeline to ‘watch my shins’ the day before, I realised that I had gotten myself in too deep. The morning of the race was moody and silent and the hill up to Harcourt, an unwelcome surprise. Number on, practice lap done, a fellow competitor on the start-line was reassuringly cheerful and relaxed, telling me that the first time she entered a cx race she unexpectedly finished in the table. With Condors-disguised-as-Oxonian marshalls close-by, looking back, I wonder if this woman’s smiles weren’t masking something shadier.

After quickly gaining prime position (at the back of the bunch), the first set of barriers (where the Condors-disguised-as-Oxonians were taking photos: coincidence?) caused the first of many pedal-shaped shiners on my legs. The course, so green and flat at the beginning, turned dark and muddy as the course entered into the woods. Back wheel sliding beneath me, I came off my bike and onto hands and knees in the ankle deep sludge. After the third tumble, I stopped counting; impaled by branches, whipped by brambles, same old, same old.

7th Rule: Races will go on as long you can get back on your bike

As I came into the final two corners of the last-lap, I caught-up with one of the male veterans. Shouts of ‘Take him Becci, take him!’ issued from the side-lines. The rider looked at me with sad-eyes, so I let him take the finish, being careful not to let the gap open too much (viz. 5th Rule).

8th Rule: If you haven’t yet raced with the Condors, you have to race.

If you do, they will give you beer, feed you sweets, shower you with compliments and watch you pick mud out of your ear without judgement. If you don’t, they will come for you.